To my friends and family. My father passed away on February 5, 2010, after a long illness. I wanted to do something for him, my mom, and my brother and sister-in-law so I decided to go through my pictures and post them here in an attempt to show who he was. It is just an attempt and not a very successful one but at least it is an attempt.
Mom found the text below and has saved it since 2002 and I also wanted to put it here.
To Remember Me -- by Robert N. Test
The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment, a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes my life has stopped.
When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life. And don't call this my death bed. Let it be called the Bed of Life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.
Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman.
Give my blood to the teen-ager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist. Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and never in my body to make a crippled child walk.
If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all prejudice against my fellow man.
If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you.
If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.
Dad loved being outdoors - as you will see in these pictures. As a boy he would hunt, trap, and fish and was at his very best and happiest when he was outdoors in the woods. Had he been born 100 years earlier Daniel Boone would have been known as Don Graves. In fact, he was going to name my little brother Daniel Boone Graves. It was Dan's good fortune that, at 11 years old, I pleaded with dad not to do that! Little brother still owes me for that one. Dad made sure that Dan and I were also able to hunt, trap, fish and shoot. With Dad's help, Dan would make money for Christmas by trapping and selling his furs. Below is a picture of Mom and Dad on thier honeymoon. On the back of this picture was written 'September 7, 1951, honeymoon in a cabin on White River'.
Fishing, hunting, dogs, outdoors, wife, dead raccoon.....how could it be better?
No early pictures of the home they eventually bought in Indianapolis when I was 5, but we do have this picture of Dad with his version of bringing in the groceries. His brief case is against the garage wall. He used that in his 'other job' as vice president and sales manager of General Medical. He dressed quite differently for that job as well.
Years of tent camping in the woods whenever Dad could arrange it went by. Not 'campground' camping....Dad hauled us out in the woods near a lake and we set up camp. Eventually, when I was 9 years old, Mom and Dad were able to buy some land in southern Indiana with a 6 acre lake and established their own private domain on thier own private land. Dad's father helped them build a cabin in the next year or two and, best of all, as the years went by we got our very own flush toilet! Mom and I have never taken an indoor flush toilet for granted, that's for sure.
It just didn't get any better than this for Dad.
Why are my parents wondering around in the woods in the Spring? And why are they staring at the ground?
Ahhhh....there it is!! A Morel mushroom, nicely surrounded by poison ivy. Hard to see the little fellows but very tasty when Mom fries a mess of them up!
Meanwhile, we are graduating, my little brother and I, AKA Brother Ugly. Whatever he might tell you about the way I treated him as a little brother isn't true - I just want to make sure that is said up front!
Little brother graduates from high school
I graduate from nursing school, Dad requested his receipt on the money spent on my college education - I handed him my diploma. My cousin, Denise, is in this picture - there is a graduation night story about her but I won't tell it here. It doesn't have anything to do with that black eye she is sporting.
Fourth of July parties at the cabin with Greene County friends, that is me with the cigarette dangling from my mouth, playing Euchre across from my father. I believe we were crowned the Greene County Euchre champions that day and might hold the title to this very day.
Dad loved Christmas. Mom said that Christmas was a sad and angry time when he was a child so he made sure there were lots of presents for Dan and I.
Yes, this is me at 7 years old. I think I had plenty of toys....and a tiara?
A Christmas morning one year. I hope Dad got new socks for that Christmas!
A pool table made it's way into the house...Dad was very good at pool, maybe from the hours he and Uncle Dee spent 'practicing' in the saloons in Greene County?
A houseboat made it's way on to a 6 acre lake - Mom was the Captain.
I got married
Dan married my beautiful sister-in-law. What a wonderful day that was when she joined our little family.
Dad was obviously not quite as comfortable in his tux as he was in his jeans and flannel shirt
This was Dad's idea of a party - one of hundreds of hot dog and marshmellow roasts. Denise and I drug in enough wood over the years to make a lumberjack happy!
Dad and Uncle Dee talking.....they were raised on neighboring farms and had been friends since they were small boys. I often wondered what they were talking about when they got off to themselves. Dad used to tell the story that Uncle Dee would tie a sting to his toe at night and hang it out the window. Dad had always been an early riser and would pull on the string in the morning to wake Uncle Dee up. Then they would run their traps early, before they had to be at school. True? Well, Uncle Dee said it was. And, no - Uncle Dee wasn't really my Uncle.
Eventually they would move inside for more Euchre. Chances are that is not coffee in those coffee cups. If you have ever seen me sniff a cup before I drink out of it - this is how I developed that habit.
In the last couple of years Dad wasn't well enough to go down to the cabin very much. Little brother made sure the cabin and the grounds were kept exactly as Dad would have wanted them to be. Even before that, Dan would make sure there was enough wood cut so that Mom and Dad could be comfortable immediately when they came down and could fire up the wood stove right away. Dan worked hard to keep the beaver trapped out of the lake so that the trees and the dam weren't harmed. Dad became so ill he wasn't able to go down there at all. He was in and out of the hospital, evantually went on dialysis. He came home from the hospital this last Christmas but had to return several weeks ago and did not get the chance to go back home. Tammy took this picture of Dad and I on Christmas Day 2009.
I think I will end this post with a picture of Dad at his most comfortable and in his most favorite element. Rest in peace, Dad, we love you and will miss you.
